Just the beginning…

My name is Bianca Birdsey, and I’m the mother of three precious daughters, Hadassah Grace, Tahlita Faith (3-year-old twins) and Eden Joy (20 months). My husband, Graeme, and I are both medical doctors and had been practicing in a rural setting in South Africa until the end of August this year, when we needed to relocate urgently for the sake of our girls. In July this year we found out that the twins are both deaf. An absolute shock, our world turned upside down, the grief of dreams lost and an overwhelming sense of guilt about their delayed diagnoses – it has been a rough 4 months! After just coming up for air, amongst all the chaos of the move and starting amplification with hearing aids, we had Eden tested a month ago, and discovered that she too, is deaf. Three deaf daughters! I thought that having 3 babies under 2 years old was brave, but having three small children with special needs has raised the bar on chaos!

It has been a crazy 4 months, so much has changed, and so much has been explored! There have been moments emotionally lower than I thought possible, but there have certainly been rays of sunshine peeking through our cracked lives and fractured dreams. I’ve been catapulted about as far out of my comfort zone than I could ever imagine, into the deaf world. A world that I had never given a second thought to. Initially that was terrifying; change and the forced exploration of the unknown is seldom comfortable. But in the last two months I have had some life changing discoveries. I’ve realized that my attitude in spite of circumstances AND feelings is always a choice. That has been an empowering realization! I’ve learned to give pride the backseat and ask for help, and to embrace my own weakness and grief. I’ve found that it has been the “allowing myself to feel” experience as well as acknowledging that there’s actually no way possible that I can do this on my own, that has ironically, given me strength.

My journey has just begun, and it has been a steep uphill start! But already I have cheer leaders on the side lines and supporters guiding my steps. I’ve been shown what my future could look like, and have already contemplated some of the challenges that lie ahead. But most importantly I’ve realized that there is HOPE! I read a quote last week that expressed this beautifully to me: “Hope is the beautiful place between the way things were and the way things are yet to be.”


12 thoughts on “Just the beginning…

  1. Hi Bianca,
    Wow, your expression is such an encouragement. Hope is a choice and i pray that your family will realise the peace of God that passes all understanding .I believe that your testimony will bring change to many people’s lives and that your children have a destiny that exceeds your wildest dreams.
    Craig Lindsay-Rae

  2. Birdy and Bianca, What a journey you are taken on.You are both so special and uniquely gifted.You were chosen to take up this very precious role in your girl’s lives.
    The touching way in how you verbalised your feelings,the honesty and vulnerability is incredibly inspiring.
    May you ecperience our loving heavenly Father’s presence in every way you need it,every single hour of every single day.
    He will guide you,strengthen you,give wisdom and yes,mhch peace and JOY!
    Martie Kruger

  3. By His Grace your love and light will no doubt continue to shine even greater through this new challenge! You and Burd are amazing parents!

  4. Dear G and B, so touched by your message from the heart, just know its by God’s grace that you have got to this place in your lives. Your little girls are so blessed to have you as parents, and so many others less fortunate than they are, whose lives you will touch, will be as well. So many of my friends will walk this journey with you.

  5. Deur Lorraine stap ons ook die pad saam met julle. Al is ons ver in Namibia, dink ons aan julle. Net baie besonderse mense sal gekies word om hierdie pad te stap, en dit is julle verseker. Mag die genade van die Here elke dag vir julle genoeg wees. Elzabe Smit.

  6. Saw your blog via Martie Kruger. Tho we have not met, I believe tis gr8 to have ‘stumbled’ across your blog. May our Father continue comfort you & grow your courage and strength. Praying too that there will be frequent breakthru in the journey you have to take &encouragement in all sorts of precious ways.

  7. Hi Bee,
    You guys inspire me!!!! I know that God will walk with you on your journey until you reach your glorious destination. Your journey and words will inspire many to continue walking. Paul

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